Holy Moly!
I had to work my mental health rebalancing tools yesterday big time.
Somebody told me that my feelings don’t matter, that they are invalid, that I’m plain wrong. They said “Ali, when I was in early recovery, I was taught to place facts over feelings”. For context, I do not believe this was said in a learning capacity.
So when I hung up the phone after thanking this person for their call, I burst into tears.
I’m sure my caller wasn’t particularly happy about the conversation either – but that’s an assumption (an idea for another post perhaps).
I then fed my floofs and watched the start of the V8’s.
I used my wellbeing tools – a lot of them.
I reminded myself of the following combination of facts and feelings:
- I stared at a dot to clear and reset my mindset – there’s another post about how to do this.
- I do matter.
- My feelings are valid regardless of anyone else’s opinion.
- There are 8.2 billion people on this planet and not everyone likes or agrees or will listen to me.
- I managed my feelings by not allowing anger to set in, because I’m the one who creates the meaning – no-one else.
- People listen but don’t hear and that’s not in my control.
I rang my friend who I was supposed to go over for dinner with and told her I needed to just stay home and curl up on the couch.
She is a wise and loving friend and she reminded me of WISE-MIND, which is taught in a mental wellbeing context (another post idea). That feelings and emotions are valid, as much as facts and logic.
Phew!
My work helping people with their feelings are not in fact invalid!
I watched the news about Trump involving the US in another war despite the futility of becoming involved. Bit ironic really.
I switched back to the V8’s and watched the last few laps.
I then used my favourite Sunday night tool – I went to bed with the floofs surrounding me with warmth and purrs.
I’ve woken up this morning feeling refreshed and reset.
I sent out my morning affirmation. I planned my day.
I decided to write a post about my experience, to show that we all can recover from setbacks however big or small if we use the power of our brilliant minds.
Was I wrong about what happened? Yes I played a part. Do I need to apologise for the part I played? I did but I’m not sure I was heard so I need to make amends. Are my feelings valid or do I just stick to facts like a robot? I prefer a combination, just like the experts who created WISE-MIND reckon.
Love is a feeling and a fact.
Anger is a feeling and a fact. Perhaps the outcome of a fact, but a feeling nonetheless.
Sadness is a feeling and a fact.
Overtalking someone is a fact that creates a feeling if you let it.
You get the picture.
In my opinion, there can be facts AND feelings – perhaps they can live in balanced harmony? There are 100’s if not 1000’s of facts and feelings that enter our brains everyday. However, whilst I also help my clients to separate emotions/feelings from facts – I don’t dismiss or invalidate them.
Fact – my feelings are valid.
Fact – this may be the start of a really good post sequence! Mindset is everything!